Secret Santa rules: how it works

How it works in five steps

1. Decide who’s in. Collect every name before you draw. Late additions mess up the draw.
2. Set a budget. Pick a clear number, like “up to $25”.
3. Draw names. Out of a hat if you’re all in one room, or online if you’re not.
4. Get the gift and keep your match to yourself.
5. Exchange gifts. Usually everyone puts their gift on a pile and each person finds theirs.

What to agree on first

• Budget: A limit works better than a rough guide, so nobody feels bad about spending less.
• Date: When do gifts need to be there, and when do you open them?
• Wish lists: Yes or no? Wish lists mean fewer misses, going without keeps more of a surprise.
• Exclusions: Can couples or siblings draw each other?
• The reveal: Do you guess who your Santa was at the end, or stay secret? Both work, just say it up front.

The trouble with paper slips

With names in a hat, someone will draw themselves sooner or later, and you start over. Everyone has to be in the same place at the same time, and exclusions are hard to handle. An online draw takes care of that: nobody gets themselves, and even the organizer only sees their own match.

Questions

How many people do you need for Secret Santa?

Three is the minimum, otherwise it’s obvious who has whom. It gets more fun from about five people.

What if someone joins late?

If nobody has bought anything yet, just draw again. If gifts are already bought, the organizer can take care of the new person, but that’s more work.

What if someone drops out?

Whoever had that person takes over their match instead. With an online draw you can also simply draw again.

How much should we spend?

At work, $15 to $25 is common. Families and friends often go a bit higher. What matters is that everyone is comfortable with it, so pick an amount that puts no one under pressure.

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